Gifts of affirmation...
There were two other folks that I had wanted to come out to privately before I did my other-blog "outing," and amidst all the work-world frustration, I got those letters sent this last week. The responses were predictable, in one way, and yet brought tears of joy and affirmation in another.
From my dear high-school friend John:
I am not surprised - you mentioned to me years ago that if someone did not come along you might have to look the other way. Am I surprised - NO; will it change the way I feel for you, No. Ann and I both have cousins that are gay and although we do not like the life style we want them to be happy. You too deserve to be happy. No matter what you do you will always be one of my closest and dearest friends and will always be welcome to come and stay in our home. Just be careful, I do not want to hear of any social diseases! I know this is a difficult situation for you I know many of our friends would not understand.From my friend and faith-brother Ed:
Regarding the gay thing... no problem. First off...makes little difference to us (will just tell Becca to stop trying to hook you up with a sister). We have several gay friends, so I guess we have a bit of a different perspective than some. Second: We all love you.From Ed's wife, and my faith-sister Becca:
Just remember friend, I became your friend because you have an amazing heart...and I will always be your friend for that reason. You don't know how much you have changed my life over the years...and even though you aren't around as often now, I know that whenever we get together, I have a friend seated next to me. God Bless you.The reason I share these is simple:
I lived in fear of rejection for years. I hid in the closet for years, afraid of something that so far has not happened. In fifteen years, the only one who has ever rejected me because of my homosexuality...is me.
Such a tragic, tragic waste. Thank you, God that the wasted time is ended. Thank you, God, for gifts such as you have given me. Thank you that my friends and family can know me - the real me - for the rest of my life. Amen.
Just as it is our own fear that can keep us bound even then others would accept us, so it is our self-acceptance that can free us even should others reject us.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that these people who are important in your life are sharing with you how important you -- the real you -- are in theirs.
Steve: "I lived in fear of rejection for years. I hid in the closet for years, afraid of something that so far has not happened. In fifteen years, the only one who has ever rejected me because of my homosexuality...is me. Such a tragic, tragic waste. Thank you, God that the wasted time is ended."
ReplyDeleteWe've talked about this a bit in the past, and I think this might be a good time for a reminder -- working the 4th through 9th steps on issues related to sexuality and sexual orientation, with your sponsor and in a careful, systematic way, might be useful, both in terms of your program and in terms of realizing the promises.
:) I was right... despite the outcome of non-seminary, you have always been a minister. So obvious from those letters.
ReplyDeletePeace to you... I look forward to meeting you all over again.
I am so happy for you! God puts amazing people in our lives, we just have to be willing to trust. Again, congrats on your courage, and congrats on choosing good friends!
ReplyDelete